Senior Sanity and babies

At the wind down of every semester that I've been a student at the AAC everyone starts to get a little batty. It's expected, accepted and pretty amusing. I'm recalling a late night in the computer lab not too long ago, listening to howls and screams coming from all floors near the atrium of students releasing their frustrations - and laughing. It was hillarious. Ofcourse being the "mature" student I politely explained in a very tongue and cheek way that, "some of us are actually trying to work here".

I am really proud of our senior class. I think that most of the work I've seen in preparation for thesis shows has been impressive. I am so excited about our upcoming show, Reconnecting: A reflection! Once the show is over, I plan on making new work about my pregnancy. The last doctor's appointment was unbelievable. Haz and I watched with amazement during our first ultrasound as a tiny body inside of me squirmed and yawned. The joy is unspeakable. I am attracted to the generational procession of mothers throughout the history of humanity. This life-giving ability that is passed from one woman to another. I feel honored to be so intimately connected with every woman who's ever carried a child.

Ok. I can't remember the last time I took a bath, read a book, or went to bed on time. The past year has been a blur. I am really satisfied with the work I'll be presenting for my exhibition, but there have been all kinds of small and large sacfifices. I am scared to admit how relieved I'll be when this semester is over. I have been wondering lately, what is so admirable about complete consumption? It seems like that is how "real artists" are defined. To admit that I'm excited about taking a break from school is embarrassing. I question whether I can hold my own in the company of "real" artists. My mind wanders from babies to marriage to God and I seek to experience beauty in the simple pleasures of life. My loves are very domestic related. I don't feel pressured into any of the things I involve myself in. I clean and cook because the acts themselves satisfy something deep inside of me. My artwork gives form to those daily musings. I enjoy connecting with people through a smile, a meal or art. What fuels my desire to create art stems from the same desire that fuels me to cook, clean and nurture my family. I treasure relationships. I value life. I love to share and be trusted to listen. It is for this reason that I enjoy viewing art. I feel in some cases, that the artist has intentionally divulged a little of themselves in an effort to reach out. To share their view of the world around them. Art that invites, inspires.

Update

Adapting to new media and processes has become an exciting challenge. Right now I'm currently working on editing my video piece "Untangle/Tangled". I never thought I'd be branching out into the world of video, but it really seems to be the most appropriate vehichle for portraying the kinds of emotions, joys, and struggles I associate with my experience as a caregiver. I'm also embarking on a lifesize graphite self portrait drawing to function as a doorway for the viewer to witness an intimate moment between my mother and I shortly before she passed away and to divulge a little of my heart - to foster a certain type of mood for the viewing experience of all the works as a whole. No performance art yet-

Banned

I'm banned from the printmaking studio!- (I'm pregnant and I told April Foster- apparently just being in the studio is not safe for baby and I- even if I'm alone and working with non-toxic materials)

This certainly makes things interesting...

Hello performance art!       

"Boiling, Bubbling, Confusing Mess" -GG

So here's a few of my notes from Senior Seminar...

(In response to our last reading assignment When Form Has Become Attitude- And Beyond by Thierry de Duve)

Academic /talent /imitation /metier

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Modernist (Bauhaus) /creativity /invention /medium

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Now (Postmodernism) /attitude /deconstruction /practice

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We ("Art") are/is currently in a transitional state.  
Art is at a place right now where "If you can convince someone it's art than it is". 
Artists as intellectual facilitators. Tradition vs. Chaos. Deconstruction is a symptom of disarray/ lack of focus in art schools. We need closure/ some sort of limits placed on what is deemed art and what's not. There should be honest meaning, value and reason behind the artist's intention. 

Ramblings/Thoughts

"talent" and "attitude" present the same problem- art is limited to a very small minority. "creativity" widens the playing field to include everybody - despite innate measure of talent or political/cultural discourse competency 

"attitude" is often critical,  promoting a world view/political discourse/ obsessed with pop culture and celebrities

What is next?

Art that has integrity, meaning and purpose.

Art that speaks to the heart of man.

Art that inspires.